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Friday, 11 January 2008

Stick 'em up!

For any of you wannabe armed robbers out there (or even experienced blaggers looking for a different MO) that may have been inspired by THIS post about the robber using his girlfriend's Rampant Rabbit as an offensive weapon, I have gathered together a selection of ... shall we say, 'serving suggestions'?

Image:Dildo Gun 1First up, if you already have a bit of dosh from previous capers, you might like to try the "Erotic Gun Dildo" from Wicked Tickles.
They describe it as looking "incredible, with it's high gloss finish it feels amazing, soft to the touch and incredibly lightweight. It's certainly an eye-opener both in or out of the bedroom."

"Out of the bedroom" ... and into the bank maybe?...
Come on criminals! This has to be your number one choice! Look! You can even get an optional holster for it. Coooool. That's right. You could practice your Quick Draw McGraw skills and REALLY surprise the missus. Haha.
All this smooth high gloss incredibleness can be yours for £45.99 ($82.78) or £55.99 with holster.

Image:Dildo Gun 2But, if you're a gangster on a budget, maybe because you're new to the game or perhaps your previous 'work' went a bit pear-shaped, this fine example of a dildo gun may better fit the bill.
This is called the "Peter Gun" and can be found at 1sn.com.
On the site the blurb invites you to:

"Load up this squirt gun with your favorite liquid - hot or cold, then stick 'em up, spread 'em and shoot your load over and over as your partner screams in delight. Great fun, but can get a little messy. Soft dildo tip makes for easy entry as you prepare to shoot."

Well. How could you refuse? And at only $5.95 ($4.95 S+H) you can't go wrong.


Image:Dildo Gun 3And lastly this one. Which unfortunately I don't have any details about, so if you want to buy one you'll have to track it down yourself. But I feel it deserves inclusion. To me it looks more likely to be a cool sculpture rather than a working vibrator, but who am I to judge? Either way it'd be a worthy addition to your erotic arsenal.

I know it goes without saying
really, but, I am in no way encouraging individuals to follow a 'life of crime'. And if for some insane reason you now contemplate committing a 'hold up' with one of these objects then prepare yourself to face the "What sorta bank ya gonna hold up with one of these then son? A sperm bank?" type comments from the police that catch your dumb arse.

NOTE: Originally posted 31 August 07 at
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